Where do we ask our questions from?
Hayley wants us to think about the questions we’re asking with our lives and our posture as we ask them, because our questions — not so much our answers — are how we live fully, fruitfully, meaningfully. (Photo by Jens Aber on Unsplash)
SPEAKER NOTES
Where do we ask our questions from?
Intro:
- Today we are starting off a new series of messages centered on question asking.
- A while back I came across this idea that has really inspired me: - Communities form more powerful connections by asking similar questions together, not necessarily by arriving at the same answers. - We gather around our common questions.
- And I think that distinction is often true of this community!
- Many of us have arrived at Brown Line by asking - “Is a church space really for me?” - “What do I believe?” - “Is there a version of Christianity that aligns with my values?” - “How can I believe in God when there is so much pain and suffering in the world?” - “How can I better live in solidarity with the poor, marginalized, and oppressed?”
- If you are ever in a place where you feel like you’ve got way more questions than answers know that A. You are not alone. And B. Your questions are what will bring you deeper into a meaningful life. Your questions are proof that you are paying attention.
- Today we’re going to chat about where we ask our questions from.
- If you’ve been around for a bit you’ll know I love an outline, I love some convenient alliteration - blame it on my evangelical upbringing.
- We’re going to talk through positionality and posture and then look to Jesus as our guide in question-asking.
Positionality:
When you think of positionality, think of what makes up your identity- your formation, your race & ethnicity, your culture. Age, gender, class, sexuality.
These elements all make up our unique lens that we see the world from - and they also inform the things we may miss when we are viewing the world. - Which brings about our reliance on community to expand our understanding
Positionality: who we’ve been, who we are, and who we’re not
We carry the stories of things we have experienced and we also carry the stories of our ancestors, those who have come before us.
What has been passed down for better and for worse.
You may have heard the phrase “the body keeps the score” — I actually really like the reframe of “the body tells the story”.
Because our positionality is embodied - how we actively experience the world in our bodies now and those generational stories we carry. Our trauma, our resilience.
The privileges we hold, the threats we face.
Our positionality informs everything from our food preferences to whether or not our children can safely walk home from school or sleep in their beds at night.
The body tells the story
We talk a lot about learning and unlearning in our context here, which can be especially helpful for those of us coming from religious settings with beliefs we no longer subscribe to. (Which is part of our positionality)
And when I think about my experience of the world growing up, I do think of the centrality of church.
And this week in my remembering I thought of a particular question that opened things up for me:
I was in high school hanging out with a group of friends - I’ve mentioned before that I was a super cool youth group kid, but this was a different circle of friends. More secular.
We were chatting late at night, picture some existential and angsty conversations while driving around our suburb. And I specifically remember asking “Do you think there even is a God?”
And I don’t really remember how the rest of the conversation played out but asking the question felt like an exhale, a relief, a rebellion. Blasphemy!
And that question was the product of feeling so much pain in my own body and witnessing pain around me. It felt freeing just to ask even if it went against what I was taught. - And it was the first time in my life I realized I could question and believe all at once.
As we explore our questions together over the next few weeks, I invite you to really consider your own positionality - your embodied identity - the story your body carries. This is your question-asking starting place.
And I would love for you to also think back- are there any key questions that come to mind that opened things up for you?
Posture:
today I want to stress how important it is that our questions lead us to more openness, not to being more closed off.
(Tone) Maybe you’re aware of how prevalent debate and division are in our current cultural climate. And it’s often debates around positionality, which bodies deserve safety and care, which can be dehumanized and destroyed.
It can be tempting to live in an echo chamber, to unfollow, to cut off those who have differing views. To isolate and hunker down.
And yet, I wonder if a posture of open question asking can help us.
And truly open- not resorting to the purity testing that surrounds us. The leading questions with a set, intended answer that proves if you are right or wrong, good or bad.
These are Questions that function as a litmus test all across the political and religious spectrum. These types of questions rarely get us anywhere productive because they’re not really questions, they’re predetermined answers in disguise.
Openness can look like adopting the childlike question of “Why?” A genuine wondering, a true curiosity.
A chance for someone to explore the intent behind their words, an opportunity for us to consider the intent behind our words. “Why? Can you tell me more? What do you mean?”
Notice how different that feels from “What are you thinking?!”— even if that may be our gut reaction.
In our open question-asking there may not be an answer that excuses behavior or decision making or hateful rhetoric. But there may be an answer that unlocks an explanation. There’s a difference between an excuse and an explanation.
I saw a post from author Holly Whitaker earlier this week. In it she quotes Pema Chödrön saying:
“We can talk about ending war and we can march for ending war and we can do everything in our power to end war. But war is never going to end as long as people’s hearts are hardened against each other.” - Pema Chödrön
She goes on to tell the story of being at the grocery store going to grab some yogurt.
There’s a man standing there who starts looking at her like he has a question. She decides to relax her posture to show she’s open to talking.
The posture shift leads the man to ask “Do you know anything about yogurt?”
And they proceed to talk through different types of yogurt until he feels better choosing one to try for breakfast. She says in that moment — even though they would have likely fought about politics and beliefs — he had a question, she had a helpful answer, and she really loved him.
Our posture, our questions, our storytelling opens us up to loving those we may not have otherwise loved.
These are our simple offers to humanize one another. To refuse to harden our hearts.
And these small moments add up, they truly make a difference in the way we hold ourselves, in the way we navigate day-to-day life
We can shift our posture toward openness. And we can refuse to return hate with shame
Jesus the Question-Asker
When we think of pulling the thread of curiosity through our question-asking, we can look to Jesus as our guide. He was a frequent question asker. And his classic move was to return questions with more questions. Some examples:
Jesus responding to questions with questions:
A man asks, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” - Jesus asks: “Why do you call me good?” (Mark 10:18)
The Pharisees ask: “Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?” - Jesus asks: “Why are you trying to trap me?” (Matthew 22:17-18)
An expert in the law asks (to test him): “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” - Jesus asks: “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” (Luke 10:25-26)
And before his crucifixion, Pilate asks: “Are you the King of the Jews?” - Jesus asks: “Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?” (John 18:33)
So we’ve got a couple responses of “Why?” An open-ended “What do you understand the law to mean?” And a “Is this your own question or a product of the people influencing you?”
Not litmus-testing, not judging, just opening the door for more conversation. Presenting an opportunity for more connection
We remain call-able when we remain committed to asking questions
This is a word we’ve talked about a lot lately. Call-able: willing to be moved, drawn forward to participate in God’s love and justice.
Questions don’t get in way of call-ability- they bring about new possibilities to listen and respond
Closing
I want to close by acknowledging that sometimes our questions may be directed at God alongside our questions for those in power
These may be questions of despair, of anger, of lament, of grief.
From Gaza to Chicago blatant atrocities are being committed, completely disregarding the intrinsic value of human lives
Questions may come up of “God, Why? How? What the hell is happening?”
You may be uncertain about what you believe in and have these questions. You may be confident in your belief in a God of love and have these questions.
There is room for your questioning. In fact, your despair and demand joins in a longstanding chorus of “How Long, O God?” This is biblical, it is the voice of the psalmist and the prophet, the activist and the poet
Your questions are welcome here, in this community, and I wholeheartedly believe your questions are welcomed by God. A God who joins us in despair and anger and lament and grief
We have to keep asking questions openly together. Because it’s through our questioning that we access greater hope. Our curiosity and openness will pull us along.
Over the next few weeks we will dive into some more specific questions we may be asking. And I want to leave space for us to consider the questions we have: - We’re actually going to take some time to do this now - Take out your phone, a journal, paper, whatever you’ve got with you. Take a minute to write down questions that you are currently asking. If you’re comfortable sharing please feel free to put your questions in the discord chat too. - Take a moment here and then I’ll bring us back to pray.
Prayer
God you hold our questioning from gentle curiosity to demands of “How long?” May we not grow weary. May we invite in wonder. May we refuse to harden our hearts. Would you help us to honor who we are and call us forward into who we are becoming. Amen